Dear Kim

I would be more than happy to update my blog on a regular basis as you’ve requested if you provide me with the following:

1. Someone to work my 40-60 hour a week job
2. A landscaper
3. A housekeeper (for me and the Deans)
4. Pest control services
5. A personal shopper
6. A hairstylist/make up artist
7. A personal chef
8. Someone to teach mom and dad how to use their computer
9. A thin, toned body that would allow me to eat whatever I want and not have to work out
10. A husband (so I don’t feel any guilt about avoiding unnecessary social functions with the hopes of “meeting someone new” – it’s all a scam anyway)
11. A perfectly organized house (closet and garage included)
12. Someone to do my laundry
13. The ability to stop time

Your loving sister,
Karry